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Sex
and the Single Mom
by: Teri Worten
Single moms, more so than anyone, have
to be exceedingly careful about the type of man they select as life-long
partners. No sensible woman wants to be judged soley on her appearence or
sex appeal, right? Moreoever, who would even want a man mostly interested
in sex without a real commitment, right again? These questions create an
age-old conundrum. Exactly, how does one find a guy who loves them and only
wants what is best for them? Let's take it up a notch. How do you resist
those natural impulses to throw caution to the wind and break down and have
sex?
For starters. . .
Read between the lines.
A wise person once said, Words carry
a little weight, but actions truly reveal the entireity of a matter. When
you meet a new guy, be especially observant of the kinds of things he talks
about. Carefully listen to his conversation. Remember, you can usually learn
plenty about a person simply by listening to them. If the conversation is
laced with sexual innuendos, that is your "red flag".
Where’s the fire...
Be leery of physical contact early in
the relationship. Someone who is overly "touchy" after knowing you for a
short amount of time might have less than honorable motives. Yes, some guys
are “touchy feely” with women. But think for a moment, if you marry
a man who can't keep his hands to himself, you are asking for trouble!
Let get real, here. As single moms,
it's only natural to enjoy the attention of men, but don’t allow loneliness
or insecurity to propel you into a relationship that may bring pain later.
You are far too precious for that, single mom.
Take your time with the physical stuff.
Approach the dating relationship the same way you would with a platonic friend.
Save the kissing or hugging until you really know the guy.
We often give away far too much too
soon in our interpersonal encounters. Don't be the type woman that every
guy in the neighborhood knows what it’s like to kiss and squeeze. Even
if he says he loves you, remember that love waits. Love is patient, love
is kind and real love will never disrespect you. Slow down, enjoy the progression
of the new relationship. There's no fire, so hold your horses!
God’s plan for you...
God has a plan and it's not about pointless
denial. His plan is first marriage and then sex after the legal, spiritual
and emotional commitment. When you create a list of rules for your kids,
you do so to protect them, right? Well, God is no different. He loves you
and wants to spare you unnecessary grief.
 The
Woman Men Adore...And Never Want to Leave
There is forgiveness....
If for whatever reason, you have engaged
in a sexual relationship outside of marriage understand that God still loves
you. Our blunders don't make Him love us any less. He desperately wants to
put the pieces of your life back together and make all things new again.
Living life "our way", guided by our
emotions or feelings, always brings disappointment and shame. However, God
specializes in such wounds. Allow Him to cleanse your pain and remove your
guilt (read 1John 1:9). If you confess your sin, He WILL forgive it. He’s
promised. The next and most crucial step is for you to forgive yourself.
Our children....
Our children rely on us to model appropriate
moral standards. Most wise moms advise their teens to abstain from sex before
marriage. We carefully explain to them the dangers of sex "now a days". We
share how abstinence protects us against sexually transmitted diseases and
unwanted pregnancies. Taking this into account, why should we want anything
different for ourselves? Our children are growing up so fast. Our time with
them is very precious. Let's not taint it recovering from unecessary love-related
heartbreaks. Nothing is worse for children than to see their moms wounded,
hurt, bitter and dejected.
My mother recently told me, (relative
to my health) 'a good mother takes supreme care of herself for the sake of
her children'. I think the same applies to emotional health. Don’t run
the risk of giving your body and soul away only to be left with an empty
bed and broken heart. It really isn't worth it, single mom.
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Your Man a HopelessRomantic... Or Just Plain Hopeless?
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